Beauty in the Breakdown: TEDx – The Video

Early this morning I got an email from the organizers of the TEDx event I spoke at. “Your talk is up on the TED website,” they said nonchalantly, as though that one short sentence hadn’t just caused my heart to skip a beat.

Before I had even watched it, my husband had posted it on Facebook. I did sort of want someone to watch it and tell me what it was like, but that wasn’t quite what I had in mind…

“Did you watch it?! Is it awful?” I asked him.

“I saw it live. It was great,” he replied.

Husbands are so not helpful.

I was nervous. This is me crying on stage in front of strangers and it was posted on the TED website. I started to watch it, panicked, and stopped. I boiled the kettle and considered pressing play again while I was waiting, but wasn’t quite ready. Finally, with tea and toast in hand, I sat down to watch it.

I’m not sure how I expected to feel about it. Proud, I think, which is how I felt after the event. But I have to be honest: other things are outweighing the pride right now. I know I’ve written about all the things I spoke about  – the tears, the rage, and the accusations – but for some reason having this video out there is…different.

But I’m going to share it with you anyway.

It is what it is and this is my story.

(If you don’t want to watch the whole thing, the juicy part starts at the 4-minute mark.)

And speaking of being enough… Did you see my piece on Band Back Together about the origins of Just.Be.Enough?

And next week I’ll be at Just.Be.Enough. on Monday hosting the Be Enough Me link-up. Join us!

Write, post, link-up, share your story and your voice.
Be part of carrying the weight of confidence and share our mission
to empower, inspire, and remind 
women, parents and children
that the time has come to celebrate ourselves!

Next week’s prompt: Five Things That Make You Smile

(Remember you can also write on a topic of your choice.)

 


 

Comments

  1. Dwija {House Unseen} says:

    So, so, so good. And awesome and wonderful. And look at that standing ovation at the end! Incredible. And I loved seeing you speak and hearing your voice. Hugs!

    • Yeah, the standing ovation is one reason I’m okay sharing this. Maybe the audience didn’t think I was totally nuts. ;)

  2. I am so proud of you for sharing your story. You’re an inspiration to so many other women. Thank you, for being you.

  3. Robin, I cried with you as I watched this (my son is looking at me in bewilderment right now). I’m so proud of you, truly. Love you.

    (loved that standing ovation!)

  4. There are things you don’t say. Except you do.

    If you’re not feeling proud, I’ll just have to be double proud of you.

    • Oh, there are still things I don’t say. I deleted a bunch of things I was going to post about how I feel about this. Just didn’t need to have it out there, you know?

      Thanks for always propping me up. It means really a lot.

  5. Now you’ve given voice in two, miraculous and powerful ways, by words on a page and video on a screen. Thank you so much for your story, for your truth telling. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the “I survived” button… :)

  6. Instead of brutal honesty you should call it beautiful honesty for the inspiration and power your journey through PPD has given other women. Thanks for being brave enough to click that publish button again and again, even when it scared the crap out of you.

  7. Thank you so much for being so brutally honest and telling your story. Your blog has helped me so much. I loved the analogy with the masks. It is so true that everyone wears a mask.

    • I’m so glad you found me, Jenny. You’re one of the people who makes me really glad I shared this, even when it’s hard. You make me feel less alone too.

  8. I cried along with you because I know your pain. I’m sorry you had to suffer as long as you did though. But I’m so very glad that your story has a happy ending and that your button now says you survived. :)

    Congratulations on having the courage to stand up there and TELL your story and for sharing this part of yourself with us and especially with those who need to KNOW it’s okay to ask for help.

    xo

    • Thanks so much, Elaine. Even after writing a lot of this here that was a tough story to tell, but I’m becoming increasingly aware of how many people don’t ask for help because they’re embarrassed. And you’re right – it’s totally okay to ask for help!

  9. You were great as I knew you would be. I’m very proud of you.

  10. Robin, thank you so much for this video. I cried…I relate.oh.so.much it pained me but I’m so glad you are reaching out, I’m so glad you are speaking openly and honestly about this. Bless your heart for this.

  11. Thank you so much for sharing, and for posting this. It was hard to watch, I kept wanting to pause it and stop watchig. Not because it was bad (It was great) but because it was uncomfortable. It kept poking at me going “Hey, does that sound familiar?”.

    You are so incredibly strong and brave for sharing your story the way you have. Thank you.

  12. Nicole DeZarn says:

    So powerful, so great. Thank u for being brave enough to share.

  13. Oh Robin! I came by to thank you for commenting on my Just.Be.Enough post and then I watched your powerful presentation and now I want to thank you for being courageous enough to share that!

    The past three years have included a plethora of things that broke me apart: my marriage falling apart, financial issues, the death of one of our children to brain cancer, and losing everything we owned to a house fire…

    The one thing I realized is that it was me breaking down and falling a part externally that actually really allowed me to grow through those experiences. And the beauty of that growth is that I know I’ve been able to reach out and hold the hands of others as they endured their own heartbreaks… in a way that I never could have done prior to this time.

    That’s what I see here in your blog–you are here, holding out your hand to other moms who have struggled or are struggling in the same way and that’s SUCH a huge thing… life changing! Thank you for that honesty and that strength… thank you for choosing to share your hard earned wisdom in a way that allows you to bless others!

  14. Robin.

    I’m crying with you. I love you. I am honored to know you. You did an amazing job – your raw honesty is very powerful.

  15. This is so absolutely courageous of you.
    I’ts very hard to put into words what this means to me, but it really means a lot!
    Thank you.

  16. Robin —

    My sister and I refer to new motherhood as ‘sudden impact.’ Mothers — each of us in our own way — have been there. Some of us take more shrapnel than others.

    My mask is humor (see here: http://timetomakethebrownies.wordpress.com/2010/05/11/ive-got-a-grip-on-guilt-a-nice-tight-one/ and here:

    You should be SO proud of this talk. You are helping millions of women by be willing to say, out loud, the things that scare you the most. Bravo. Well done. Oh yes…and THANK YOU.

  17. Robin – thanks so much. I only recently found out about TED Talks so yours is the first I’ve watched, but it was great. You are so right about the masks… I hide beyond one that I hardly admit to, even to myself. Bravo to you for working through this and for sharing your story to help other women. I was crying through several parts of your talk (and I don’t consider myself a crier) because what you said resonated so strongly with me. I’ve struggled with being a mom more than I want to admit and I’ve found it hard to ask for help or even know where to turn for help. Too often I tell myself “it’s not that bad” or “it will be fine.” So thanks again for your brave words.

    BTW, I also saw your article on PPD in the last Island Parent Magazine. Nice work. :)

  18. You are amazing! I hope you realize how many women you are helping by being brutally honest.

    I started crying at 3 minutes by the way!

    I am so proud of you, Robin.

    xoxo

    • Tonya, you offer me so much reassurance and I couldn’t possibly tell how much that means to me. Thank you so much for this comment – and hey, you started crying before I did! :) xoxo

  19. Wow Robin!!! That was amazing! So incredibly brave and empowering for you to do! I’m so impressed with seeing how far you’ve come and how you’ve turned a nightmare into an empowering, life-changing dream. Congratulations on living the life you’re meant to!!!! (and thanks for helping me turn my life around too!!!) (((HUGS))) Tracy

    • Thanks, Tracy! It’s so nice to hear other people’s feedback about this, because I’m not terribly objective. And I’m so, so glad you’re doing better. That makes sharing this totally worth it.

  20. Robin, when I see all the things happening in your life, I think “we can’t walk around it, we must walk through it.”

    It’s the only way to get to the other side.

    HUGE HIGH FIVE, mama.

    xo

  21. Thank you so, SO much. I just started following your blog, and watching this video has given me hope that maybe I won’t be this way forever… I haven’t yet seen anyone about my issues (with the exception of my poor saint-of-a-husband) and obviously I have lots of questions and hesitations… I suspect this isn’t the best place to share them. I will be reading more here and at Postpartum Progress, but I had to stop first and THANK YOU. For your honesty. Thank you.

    • Emily, I’m so glad this helped you. You won’t feel like that forever, even if it sometimes feels like you will.

      You are more than welcome to email me if you want a sounding board or someone to ask questions of.

  22. I found you via the SITSgirls.
    Thank you so much for sharing your story, Robin.
    It is powerful.
    I’ve been contemplating this thought today: that God put me in this world to do the good works that He prepared in advance for me to do.
    That’s exactly what I want to do: no more, and no less.

  23. I can’t get the video to play at all. Any ideas??

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