My words are still walled in.
Tomorrow I’m going to do something I dread. It’s something I need to do, and in fact have to do eventually. I’m just choosing to do it now because the anxiety is crushing me.
I lie awake at night picturing this scenario and how it might go. It invades my dreams. In the dark of night I am sure I must do this. In the light of day I wonder if I’m being overly dramatic.
The thing is, I’m not in control right now and for me that’s not a good thing. There’s no point in worrying about the possible consequences – they will be what they will be. I can’t try to choose the right time, because there really is no right time.
For too long this has been something I can’t say. Until tomorrow I can’t say it here, but I’m hoping that doing what I need to do will break down the walls and let my words free.
I will come back and share those words with you, but for now I just ask for good thoughts and more faith than I am currently able to muster.