So it’s Monday again. I don’t understand how this keeps happening.
Maybe it’s the hormones. Maybe it’s the 16 straight weeks of nausea and exhaustion. Maybe it’s that, just when I thought I might start feeling better, I’ve started throwing up. Whatever it is, I’ve had a list running in my head of things I wish but that are totally irrational and therefore unlikely to happen. But you never know, right? So here’s the list. Universe, do with this what you will (but please don’t smite me by making things worse).
- I wish the laundry would fold itself instead of sitting there mocking me with its increasing wrinkliness.
- I wish I didn’t have to pee three times a night.
- I wish my child would finally understand that jumping on me is a Very Bad Idea. Ditto poking me, hitting me and licking me.
- I wish work weeks were only four days long. Or three. I could get a lot done in three days. Just try me.
- I wish someone would make a really awesome pair of maternity underwear.
- I wish I didn’t have to wear maternity underwear. I didn’t last time, but this time my normal underwear seems to have it out for me.
- I wish someone would develop a teleportation device already so I can go and visit my friends.
- I wish SharePoint didn’t suck so utterly and completely. (But, hey, if I only had to work three days a week my SharePoint-itis would be significantly less intense.)
- I wish my dog would walk himself so I didn’t have to walk around my neighbourhood in my pyjamas. (I also wish he hadn’t peed on our duvet, but hesitate to actually add it to the list because 10 complaints seems like quite enough.)
- I wish I had better hair.
So that’s my list. (I didn’t lie – I am okay. Just tired.) Make me feel less like a sad sack and join me, won’t you? What are your irrational wishes?