10 Random and Irrational Wishes

So it’s Monday again. I don’t understand how this keeps happening.

Maybe it’s the hormones. Maybe it’s the 16 straight weeks of nausea and exhaustion. Maybe it’s that, just when I thought I might start feeling better, I’ve started throwing up. Whatever it is, I’ve had a list running in my head of things I wish but that are totally irrational and therefore unlikely to happen. But you never know, right? So here’s the list. Universe, do with this what you will (but please don’t smite me by making things worse).

  1. I wish the laundry would fold itself instead of sitting there mocking me with its increasing wrinkliness.ten
  2. I wish I didn’t have to pee three times a night.
  3. I wish my child would finally understand that jumping on me is a Very Bad Idea. Ditto poking me, hitting me and licking me.
  4. I wish work weeks were only four days long. Or three. I could get a lot done in three days. Just try me.
  5. I wish someone would make a really awesome pair of maternity underwear.
  6. I wish I didn’t have to wear maternity underwear. I didn’t last time, but this time my normal underwear seems to have it out for me.
  7. I wish someone would develop a teleportation device already so I can go and visit my friends.
  8. I wish SharePoint didn’t suck so utterly and completely. (But, hey, if I only had to work three days a week my SharePoint-itis would be significantly less intense.)
  9. I wish my dog would walk himself so I didn’t have to walk around my neighbourhood in my pyjamas. (I also wish he hadn’t peed on our duvet, but hesitate to actually add it to the list because 10 complaints seems like quite enough.)
  10. I wish I had better hair.

So that’s my list. (I didn’t lie – I am okay. Just tired.) Make me feel less like a sad sack and join me, won’t you? What are your irrational wishes?


 

Comments

  1. I have many irrational wishes myself. As for the 4 day work week it is possible. I have it. I work 4 10 hour days. T-F from 8a-6p. It has its cons, but lots of pros. You could see if your HR would consider it.

    • They might consider it, but I don’t know if that would help me. I really just want to cut down hours altogether. ;)

  2. I want someone to invent toys that will pick up after themselves. Not too much to ask, right?

    Sorry this pregnancy has been so hard. I wish the nausea and throwing up will go away for you. xo

  3. #6: don’t wear underwear :)
    #8: say it isn’t so! Are you in Sharepoint hell?
    #10: you have wonderful hair. At least you eyelashes curl themselves.

    As for me, it’s this drab wet coast weather that really gets me. One day of hot sun does NOT make up for 6 days of grey. Best place on earth my a$s.

    Love your list. Especially the licking. I don’t remember this stage. Is this what I have to look forward too?

    • Ha ha. You’re funny. ;)

      SharePoint hell – yes. Oh.my.GOD.

      And my current issue with my hair is that I cut it all off and it’s not working. Ah well, temporary I guess.

      And yep – look forward to the licking. Or maybe it’s just my kid.

  4. I wish I didn’t have to pee 3 times a night either. I thought that was only supposed to happen with pregnancy but I’m not prego. Trust me.

  5. I wish mother in laws didn’t have to stay so long (what… ? 3 nights, 2 days is too long)
    I wish I didn’t have cat dander and hair floating through my new house
    I wish my office had a heartbeat
    I wish I didn’t dream about fighting with my mother in law last night
    I wish weekends were longer
    I wish I wasn’t grumpy on this Monday morning

    But I am glad to hear you are ok. I’m sorry you are sick and now vomiting. How many cupcakes do you want? ;)

  6. This is a good list! I am sorry you are feeling so down. I agree, how DO Mondays keep happening? Weird.
    My irrational wish would be to win the lottery. Or for some sum of money to just appear in my bank account. Things are tight lately. But maybe the money tree I planted will bloom soon. There’s always tomorrow….

  7. I wish I had food that would cook itself. And toys that would put themselves away. And a house that cleaned itself. That’s not too much to ask is it?

    I hope you’re feeling better soon. xo

  8. I wish my laundry would iron itself and that my car would drive itself to and from work every day. Hope you feel better soon.

  9. You have awesome hair!
    And I didn’t have to wear maternity underwear either but I was in the endless search for a pair that didn’t roll.
    Thinking of you! Xo

  10. What’s wrong with your hair??? Man, I wish mine would stop turning grey and then falling out.

    • I’ve always had a love-hate (mostly hate) relationship with my hair. But right now I hate it because I hacked it all off and I don’t really like it.

  11. Love this! I may have to borrow this idea since I’m blogstipated lately… ;)

  12. Marie-Eve says:

    -I wish my hips weren’t hurting at night. I hope that putting only one wish on my list will make it come true!!! Talk about wishful thinking! :)

    As for your #7: my own version of this wish is called “closet transporter”… Wouldn’t be great? Just step in your closet and re-appear in any closet around the world!

  13. Argh! I hate maternity underwear… Mostly because they give me front & rear wedgies. So annoying.