As I sit here on New Year’s Eve I’m thinking back to the one word I chose for 2012.
Actually, as I mentioned in that original post, the word chose me. I knew it was the right word because there were things about it that spoke to my hopes and dreams for the year, but my word was born of its own volition in the newness of the year. It chose to come into my life and my job was to nurture it.
I’m not entirely sure I did my word justice this year, to be honest. And yet I’m pleased with what I brought into this year and what this year brought me.
One of the reasons I felt “vibrant” was the right word for me for this last year was that I wanted to have another baby. It turns out my word took that challenge seriously and we knew before January was through that Ethan would be joining us this year.
New life. That was enough vibrance even without anything else happening.
But the process of bringing that new life into being left me feeling decidedly less than vibrantly alive. Between antenatal depression and morning sickness, that pregnancy nearly killed my spirit. As a result, I didn’t do as much as I had hoped over the course of the year.
At this time last year we had only just moved here and I had grand visions of all the things we would do over the course of the year. I was especially excited — having moved from the one part of Canada that doesn’t really get any winter to speak of — about all the winter activities we could do. But the first few months of pregnancy had other ideas and before I knew it we were into summer and two straight months of temperatures so hot I could barely stand it.
There were many times this year when I did not feel vibrant.
But the word chose me for a reason and I accepted it into my life. I had it put on a ring that I wore every day (at least until I had to get my wedding ring cut off and then I didn’t dare risk losing another precious ring). The word was always there – literally in front of my face and never far from my thoughts.
And when I reflect back on 2012, I realize my word was in fact made manifest this year. This past year has been full. I have embraced the new and held on to what’s dear from before and in doing so I have felt alive.
Cheers to the old year and welcome to the new.