Blip

You know how sometimes you talk to your psychiatrist about developing a plan to wean off your anti-depressants but then you find yourself making another appointment to talk about how that’s not a good idea? And it’s because you’re getting mad at stupid things too often and you find yourself crying over silly things enough that you’re developing an intimate relationship with soggy Kleenex? When that happens, instead of a plan to decrease your dosage you come out with a prescription for a new medication to add on top of your existing anti-depressant.

Or at least that’s what happened to me.

I am…disheartened about this. I’m also terrified to start a new medication (and, admittedly, a bit stubborn because I DON’T WANT TO HAVE TO) so I’ve had it for two days and haven’t managed to actually take it yet. Maybe tonight.

I don’t really know what else to say about this yet, but I wrote a post on my Yummy Mummy Club blog that was meant to be poignant but ended up just being sad, so I feel like I need to put this out there.

Sometimes there are just too many tears at bedtime. (And other times too. But hopefully not for long.)

 


 

Comments

  1. ((Hugs)) You don’t have to want to, you just have to know that you will do what you NEED to to make things right for YOU.

    xox

  2. I’m so sorry things didn’t turn out the way you expected. Depression is not an easy fight. Part of that is knowing when to wave your flag for help – which you’ve done. Maybe these meds will be better. Good luck and keep us posted! I’m sending you peaceful (non-teary) vibes.

  3. HUGS. I hate starting new meds. And I hate it when my brain interferes with my plans. And I’m STOMPING MY FEET for you. (But not literally because I do not want to wake the napping baby.)

  4. (HUGS). There is no shame in taking medicine for what you need, and I hope that this next combination works its magic for you! xo

  5. My blip a few weeks ago helped me see that maybe I needed to stay on the meds I was on, at least for now. That made me upset because I felt defeated. But truthfully I’m not defeated, it will just take me a little bit longer. Maybe it will for you too and until it’s time and our hormones and bodies can regulate themselves it’s ok to accept a little help. Let’s be gentle on ourselves.

  6. Many, many hugs, and love.
    Sometimes, life throws you a curveball, because you need it, even when you didn’t know you did. This may be your curveball and savior. I hope it is. xo

  7. Oh sweetie. I know it’s hard to need it. It sucks to have to take it. It’s ok to feel that way. But I also know it’ll probably help you feel more like the you, you want to be. And it could be only temporary. The baby is still little, you’re in the relatively early postpartum period. You can get through this to a better time. I promise. Big giant hugs Robin. xo

  8. I never want to come off. That is all <3

  9. I know it sucks to have to change the plan. I know you hate this. I know. And I’m so glad something exists that will make you feel better. Loving you hard through this all.

  10. Huge hugs. So you need the meds . . . it is just at this moment in time and this moment will pass . . . it will!

  11. Needing medication is not a weakness. Recognizing that you do is real strength.

  12. I’m sorry things did not work out as you planned. Hang on tight.

  13. So many times this has happened to me. It is just a crappy feeling all around. And it isn’t for lack of trying, I know you work your butt off to keep it together like all of us. When I realized it wasn’t going to be a moment that passed, or just a blip–but a life long dance–I was humbled. What do women with no access to medication do? They end up like many of our mothers, grandmothers…suffering needlessly, and often at the expense of the children. You are choosing to put your commitment to be a mom over your own desire to ‘be off meds’–that to me, is an act of kindness, Robin. An act of loving kindness where you have once again given over what you thought it was going to be…to be for your family. You are not alone. I am what I call “a lifer”. Now let’s kick some ninja ass on that doubt!

  14. Love you and thinking of you. xoxo

  15. Hi Robin – So complicated! Feeling for you and sorry that you feel bad all around. I hope this works out for you. I wonder what happens to people who don;t have access to medical care or to therapy. Good luck to you. take care, Kathy

  16. Robin, I am sending you my love and support. I am right there with you. I was initially planning to wean off of the meds this summer, and now I think that was a bad idea.

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