Hawaii honeymoon


Alone in a room in a friend’s house in a city that is not my own (anymore), I listen. The house sounds quiet and I think maybe no one else is home. Downstairs is breakfast and a cup of tea and some quiet time and I should get up. But downstairs is also the door to the outside world, and the weight in my chest and I don’t feel ready for that just yet.

I look at the clock: 11:11.

Isn’t catching the clock when it reads 11:11 supposed to be good luck? I see this time frequently. It feels like all the time, in fact, and I certainly don’t feel lucky. At least not today.

clock face

In a mind-over-mind sort of way (there’s certainly nothing matter of fact about it), I get up.

Downstairs is quiet, and my aloneness is confirmed by a text from my husband that both boys are asleep on swings at the park (that’s what happens when you wake up when the clock says 4:58, I guess).

I put the kettle on for tea and open the cupboard looking for a mug. There in rows on two shelves are mugs in three colours. White. Black. Red.

I reach for a black mug and then hesitate, reconsidering. I have a choice, and I make it.

I choose a red mug.

Maybe it’s a sign of my willingness to push the darkness away. Or maybe I’m just feeling lucky.



  1. Melissa says:

    Keep choosing the other option!! XO

  2. Choose red. Always. xo

  3. Red is my favorite color. Keep choosing the light and the bright.

  4. What is luck anyway? I’m glad you chose red. :)

  5. Red is a good color. Here’s to many more red days :)

  6. When I am feeling low, I do my nails. I almost always go for red. It’s the color I’ll see all day, every time I glance down and it brightens me. Every time. I’m glad you’re choosing undark.

  7. I tend to go for black too often, too. It’s amazing how easily a mood changes when you pick a brighter color.