Five Months to Firm

I firmly believe people won’t quit something or start something or stick to something (like quitting a bad habit or starting a new one) if they’re not ready to do it. And that’s about the only thing I’ve got right now that’s firm.

on Connor's first birthday

on Connor’s first birthday

The other day I saw a picture of myself with Connor on his first birthday, when I was about 30 pounds lighter than I am right now. And a day or so later I looked in the mirror and sucked in my tummy and thought, “If I really suck it in it’s not too bad.” And then we went away for a few days and I got some perspective and decided that being in a state of not-too-bad-but-only-when-my-tummy-is-sucked-in is not okay.

I was happy with my body before Connor was born. I had a small crisis when he was about three months old and I had to buy some in-between clothes and I almost cried because I thought I was going to feel flabby forever. But thanks to a baby who needed a lot of bouncing and a very active maternity leave I did lose the weight and a few extra pounds to boot. But when I started antidepressants some of that flab came back and hasn’t left.

I didn’t actually get weighed regularly when I was pregnant with Ethan, but my best guess based on what I think I weighed before is that I gained about eight pounds. And I’m now about two pounds below what I weighed when he was born.

Are you feeling disheartened yet? Because I am.

I’m just sick of it. I’m sick of stuffing my face with crap because I’m bored or tired or just plain old in the habit of eating badly. I don’t want to have to hang my jeans to dry so I don’t have to hold my breath for the first couple of hours of wearing them after they come out of the dryer. And I didn’t want to have to buy shorts in a size larger than what I’ve been wearing recently, but that’s what I had to do. It doesn’t matter that they’re pink and summery and we finally have weather that requires shorts. I just don’t want to see that extra flab in the mirror anymore. And now I’m finally ready to do something about it.

So I solemnly swear that I quit. For the next month I’m going to cut out all the stuff I’ve been eating because I think it will make me feel better. No Coke, no chocolate, no ice cream. Bye bye Blizzards. Farewell fries. I’m going to keep up with the exercise I’ve been doing and try to add more, but my eating habits really need to go back to where they were.

I’ve got five months until Ethan turns one. I may not get back to where I was on my first child’s first birthday, but I’d like to at least feel better about myself when I see the pictures.

PS I’d like to offer a shout-out to Miranda from Not Super… Just Mom whose State of the Weight Wednesday series has contributed to my resolve.




  1. Did you know that dark chocolate, like 70% and more, is really good for you? See, you can eat really well and still enjoy some amazing things. It is hard to look back at old photographs and see just how much things have changed. Good luck to you!

    • I did know that! Except I don’t like it that much. But when I need a little treat I may just indulge. :)

  2. Let me know if you need inspiration! You can do it… just think how great you’ll feel!

  3. Antidepressants are thighs kryptonite.
    I know that you can do this. Don’t get discouraged if you slip. keep remembering that you are making an effort and making an effort is better than none.
    Go you :)

  4. I’m also trying to stop drinking coke and I got a pretty nifty app for it. I have the free version that only lets you keep track of three habits but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted a coke and then felt bad that I’d have to add a red x to what is now a week’s worth of green checks. And thus haven’t gotten the coke.

    I completely have faith that you can do it!

    • What’s the app? I used one when I was trying to quit Coke last year but it only tracked one thing.

      And good for you! That kind of motivation works for me too.

      • Ha, yes that would be helpful! It’s called Way of Life, I have it on my iphone. I’m debating buying the full version but its $5, which is more than I want to spend on an app!

  5. You know that I know, and I’m here to offer support whenever you need it.

  6. Robin, I am right there with you! It’s so hard to eat right! I just got back in the swing of the treadmill. A couple of years ago I started running/little bit of yoga. I loved it and felt SO much healthier, but 2 years of poor choices have put me where I’m not feeling so fab, and it ticks me off! The last time I saw results from running it took about 9 weeks to really feel/see results. I have resolved to run 4 times a week for 9 weeks. It’s been one week Tuesday since I said “enough”! Now if I could only figure out how to stop eating sweets…

    • Good for you! I’ve been doing well with the exercise, though I haven’t been running much because my knees are complaining.

      With me, the sweets and junk food is a tough one. I’ve decided to cut everything for a month and just get back to healthy eating. It’s been okay so far.

  7. I’m sick of the way my body looks too, but one year on, and I still don’t feel inspired to start. Other than the 2 weeks I worked out then got injured. What I really want to do is something I love – then I can stick with it.

    Good luck to you!

    • I’m the same way too. I’m doing a few things I like right now, and the variety helps me a lot. Feeling better already.

  8. Warren Peece says:

    Robin, eating properly is a habit that requires a little work, but can be mastered. When I was growing up, I remember Nana adding salt to everything. Salt was added to the water that was boiling the potatoes or the carrots or the turnips. And then we put more salt on everything on our plates. Then when Melly needed to eliminate salt from her diet, I slowly weaned salt from my diet too. We haven’t had a saltshaker on the table for about 25 years and I don’t miss it a bit. It required a little effort at first, but now it’s normal. And eating properly requires a little discipline at first, but soon becomes normal.

    • Yep, I know. I’m normally a good eater but I’ve been eating too much stuff that’s not good for me as well.

  9. I keep telling myself that I am going to get back on the bandwagon too but it just hasn’t really happened yet. And so I agree with you, you HAVE to be ready. Guess I am not.

    Good for you Robin, YOU can do it!!! 😀

  10. For what it’s worth, I think you’re beautiful. Focus on healthy foods and healthy activity and the rest will fall into place. And you’re totally right – one has to be in a place of conviction before being able to make a change. I just got there too :)

    • Thanks, Heather. That comment made my day. Truly. Your recent kick has been part of my inspiration too.

  11. I hear ya. I hear ya. I hear ya.

    That’s all I can say.