Conversations with the Steam Cleaner

Last night I decided to be a big girl and take the new medication I was nervous about taking (one reason being that it has a sedating effect so I wasn’t sure how the night wakings were going to go). The first time I got up I felt drunk, exactly as if I’d had a little too much to drink. I’m not a big fan of that, but I’m hoping it either goes away or Ethan sleeps long enough that I sleep through that phase.

Around 3:30 I came back into our room after feeding Ethan. Then Rich got up to blow his nose and I had a lovely conversation with the steam cleaner thinking it was Connor.

“Hi buddy. What’s wrong?”

The steam cleaner/Connor didn’t answer.

“Are you okay?”

Still no answer.

I sat in bed trying to remember what colour t-shirt Connor had on when he went to bed. I was sure it was a dark one.

“Connor, love? Are you there?”

Connor the Steam Cleaner was silent.

At that point Rich came out of the bathroom.

“What’s that?” I asked him. “Is that Connor?”

“No, that was me blowing my nose.”

Apparently he’s not terribly good at following along with insane conversations in the middle of the night.

“No, that. In the corner. Is that Connor?”

Rich did an impression of a dog chasing his tail as he turned around and around to see what the hell I was talking about.

“What?! Who’s there?!”

Understanding dawned.

“That thing in the corner? That’s the steam cleaner,” he explained.

“Oh. I thought it was Connor.”

“You scared the crap out of me.”

I shrugged and went back to my drunken sleep. At least we didn’t have another kid to put back to bed.

PS Don’t ask why we have a steam cleaner camped out in the corner of our bedroom.

PPS He was wearing a light-coloured t-shirt.




  1. I’m so glad you shared this 😉

  2. I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing with you.
    Oh those medications can take your mind on a wild ride eh? Those nasty side effects go away in a few days. Trust me. I’ve been on a million.

  3. Yeah, maybe that isn’t the best prescription choice. LOL

  4. Hahahaha!!!

  5. Hee hee!!

  6. At least you didnt pick up the steam cleaner to put to bed!

  7. This made me giggle but only ’cause I’ve been there! They gave me ambien in the hospital the night before I was induced. I told my husband, “You’re really Pinocchio. You’re really Pinocchio! But it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay because Frosty the Snowman is guarding the window.” He was so freaked out. He begged me to stop talking and go to sleep. LOL. Those meds can be a trip.

  8. I love it! But I am curious to know why you have a steam cleaner in your bedroom…

  9. At least your carpets are clean…? 😉

  10. This would scare the crap out of me too! Half-conscious things at night freak me out.

  11. I’ve had similar conversations without medication. I blame it on my horrible eyesight.

  12. LOL. Thanks for sharing. :)